Editor: Diane Hutchinson Editor@girlgamersuk.com

Red Dead Caffeine – Part 4

Posted by Bazaboy On June - 28 - 2010

Still mourning the cold-blooded murder of his trusty steed and being ever aware of the presence of Cougars, Bazaboy moves onto the favoured drink of hospital visitors, Lucozade.



And so we head into the third night of testing with the surprising results that show Relentless actually seemed to work, meaning the remaining drinks have something to prove. Tonight’s part of the test I am using one of the original energy drinks, one which has been around since even I was a young kid. Although there have been many versions and flavours, I decided to go with what in my opinion is the best of the bunch, original Lucozade.


We start the nights gaming free of the go go juice and right into the action, with a huge fire-fight in a waterside warehouse, as we search for ammunition for the big gun that was procured by our hero during the previous nights gaming. I do actually end up having to do this mission twice due to my inquisitive nature which leads to me dying near the end of my first attempt. Rest assured I don’t make the same mistake the second time though. Moving into the night, or early morning as the case may be, I am like Timmy Mallet, leader of The Wide Awake Club.


I now pick up a new bounty. But before tracking him down I also pick up a side mission which involves me gathering a bouquet of flowers for an old chap to give to the love of his life. This is a casual mission which I slowly complete over the course of the night, as and when I spot one of the flowers that I require. Also before tracking my bounty I stop in at a gunsmith and pick up a new rifle and shotgun. Now I can cause even more mayhem and destruction throughout the land. With those little tasks taken care of, I head out in search of the bounty who must be eliminated, and eliminated he surely is.



One and a half hours in and I open the first bottle of Lucozade. Isn’t Lucozade a funny name, it make you wonder where it originated from. Originally available in hospitals and designed to be used by those with colds and flu, it was named Glucozade, an amalgamation glucose and aid. This was later shortened to Lucozade, consider yourself educated for the night. Once I have had a drink, I track down my swindling elixir selling friend to see what he needs doing and we end up trying to sell his drink to bunch of oil miners, only to be interrupted at the start of the con by some of his former customers. This leads to us being chased for ten minutes cross country in his coach. After reaching his hideout, we part ways once again, at which point I run into a stranger which leads to me being involved in another huge fire-fight through the mines in search of treasure.

One bottle of Lucozade down and I am still awake and enjoying the game. Percentage wise I would say I am running at around 80% efficiency levels. This is my attempt at making my experiment sound more technical and less half arsed.


The Lucozade seems to be doing the job so far. Just as well, as it is time for more racing, a good old fashioned horse race this time. The horse riding is handled very well in the game. You can ride your horse at full gallop all of the time ans tapping the run button you get a speed boost. But this also runs down an endurance gauge for your horse and if it runs out the horse bucks you off. So to win the race you need to use this strategically and to the best of your abilities. After the race I then made the mistake of wandering into the saloon in a town and sitting down at a table where a game of blackjack was taking place. This lead to me spending more time than I should have playing. I did however make a nice little profit, which is always a good thing.

The Lucozade seems to be helping. But whether or not it will do as good a job as Relentless, or even the coffee and tea, remains to be seen. At the moment though I feel I still have plenty of gaming time in me yet and so I continue onwards.



Probably the weirdest side mission yet starts off quite innocently enough, with a distraught stable worker asking for my help in tracking down the love of his life. This is not the first time I have been tasked with this in the game, so I was getting used to it. But the twist to this one is the love of his life ends up being a horse. Quite disturbingly, this mission ends with me riding off while glancing over towards the same guy as he hugs the rear end of the horse. He loves that animal just a little bit too much I think. Two bottles of lucozade in and I am okay right now, but I can feel the tiredness out there threatening to close in. I have a bit more in me yet, so I decide to pick up another bounty. Because his location is close to the town I need to hand it in, I decide for the first time to take him alive. It is surprisingly easy to take out his henchmen, rope and hogtie the target, and bring him in, while taking out his pursuing cohorts. Maybe I need to do it this way more often and earn myself a little more cash.


I am riding around the country attempting to clear up the side missions I have. But this backfires and instead of clearing them up, I end up getting more of them as I go. During this time I finish my third and final bottle of Lucozade. I believe it is now a matter of time before sleep catches up with me, but for now I persevere for the sake of gaming science.

Oh, what a nice guy I am, as I spend twenty minutes searching for the single red flower to complete the bunch of flowers for aforementioned old chap to give to his lady friend. Side missions, you have got to love them. I am still awake but I have the feeling it wont be for much longer before I need to head for my bed.



The side mission with the bunch of flowers took an unexpected turn which I wont spoil here. I also came across a hunting challenge that has me killing three wolves and skinning them for a fellow hunter. I combine this with the hunting challenges in which I have to kill five wolves with my knife, which sounded a lot harder than it turned out to be. It was enough to keep me busy for a bit. I have begun yawning but decided that before I finish for the night I am going to clean up all the active side missions I have picked up.


The birds are singing loudly outside my window, letting me know it is getting early at 04:51 as I sit here yawning. I eventually finish up on my existing side missions, freeing me up to get some more and continue with the main story line. However, this is going to have to wait until my next session.


So at five in the morning exactly I find myself yawning and feeling pretty tired and ready for my bed. So I decide to call it a night. The Lucozade has held up pretty well, besting the coffee and tea, but not doing quite as good a job as Relentless. I head to my bed for some well deserved rest. I will return to the game in a couple of nights for the final product test, one of the best known energy drinks and one which really can not be left out of this little experiment, Red Bull. I am personally of the opinion that it will be just as good as, if not better than, the current leader in my tests. Until that time arrives, I shut down my console and head off to my bed for the evening, or is that morning? Either way, that’s it for now.

< PART 3PART 5 >

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