Do not pass ‘Go’, do not collect your £200 but head straight over to add-ons this week for some seriously hearty DLC action!
In the Arcade:
Beyond Good and Evil HD – 800MP
Sassy investigative reporter Jade sets out to reveal the truth behind the Alpha Section government’s promise to finally get rid of the DomZ aliens that have been reigning terror on the planet Hyllis in a war that’s gone on forever. Accompanied by trusty handyman, uncle piggy Pey’J, together they solve puzzles, fight enemies, bash down doors and clamber up ladders whilst taking the odd photo here. They discover crimes of human trafficking by an evil High Priest alien boss before realising the government is in on the act so now up to them to save the world – 12 achievements on offer during 12 hours of intensive action in glorious HD. Definitely my recommendation of the week.
To Buy or Not To Buy:
Far Cry Instincts Predator – £14.99
Included in the Predator package is a graphically enhanced version of the original FC Instincts game where the dishonourably discharged, former Navy man Jack Carver after having a little nap on his boat in paradise awakes to find himself being shot at by a Black Hawk Helicopter. He soon finds himself tangled up in a mission to rescue a female CIA agent when he gets injected with animal serum (not available from the perfume counter at Boots) and finds he can run at great speeds, see in the dark and ferociously attack his enemies. He then gets even more tangled up in a war between the two makers of the serum and the mutant animal/human test subjects they have released into the jungle. This Predator package also comes with another graphically enhanced game – FC Evolution which picks up sometime after Instincts left off, as well as having all new content, online play and a map editor.
Metro 2033 – £19.99
According to this game, there is a huge apocalyptic event going to happen in 2013 that will annihilate almost all human life and will turn the earth into a poisonous wasteland – best make this year a good one then! Deep underground in Moscow, a handful of survivors keep their heads down, away from the swarms of mutant horrors that live on the surface – but they’re a society living in constant fear as staying underground isn’t always the safer option with just as many hostile humans to content with. Ammo is scarce and scavenging is the key to survival as you play Artyom, who carries a warning about a terrible threat to the inhabitants of the dark metro. The atmosphere is tense with a flashlight guiding you through the black tunnels and a gas mask to get you through above ground. This immersive first person shooter is a little gem and fans of FPS or survival horror will love it.
Open Season – £14.99
Based on the film of the same name, you can play as Boog the big bear with no wildlife skills at all who unwittingly ends up lost in Timberline Forest just as hunting season starts. Fast talking deer Elliot is on hand to interfere throughout the 25 repetitive missions. The most fun in this game comes from deciding whether to sneak around scaring the hunters or run up and throw them around but I use the word fun very loosely here. There’s lots of fetching tasks you have to undertake to help other animals of the forest that then give you new abilities such as lobbing skunks into hunters houses or throwing rabbits into hunters faces but it takes so long to learn any decent skills that the game is almost over before you get to use them – or you have died and shrivelled up with boredom. Basic graphics, lifeless voice work and dull gameplay mean you should in no way ever buy this game.
Traitor’s Keep Quest Pack – 560MP
There’s an extra 3 hours minimum of lovely new humorous Fable content up for grabs here and it’s really good. General Turner was thrown into the secret Ravenscar Keep after attempting a coup during the reign of King Logan. Now you’re in charge and he’s sent an assassin to get you. There are three new locations (including the Keep plus Clockwork Island where you can pick up your doggie companion a tasty potion and the Godwin Estate featuring exploding monkeys), two new outfits plus an additional 250G. It’s packed full of the same great wit and atmosphere as the main game but features new enemies and even your dog was taken into consideration – what more could you want? Fans will love this.
Dead Space 2
Severed – 560MP
Similar to the Fable 3 DLC, here we have a fabulous stand-alone plot and character that further expands the Dead Space universe. Whilst Isaac Clarke was slicing up Necromorphs and battling his way out of Sprawl, Gabe Weller (who featured in Dead Space Extraction) in a shiny security suit not too dissimilar to Isaac’s was also making his way through the infected city and he’s armed with a mighty Pulse Rifle. He’s going to need it as this time there are Twitchers in between him and his wife waiting in the medical wing. There are still plenty of workbenches around and things you have unlocked in the main game are available here too. Though you can rock through the two chapters in this DLC in around 30 mins, it’s still satisfying blasting the Necros and you can bet there’s a twist in the plot…
Office Affairs – 80MP
The charming lads at Silver Dollar Games (who brought us classy titles such as “Try Not To Fart” and “Who Did I Date Last Night?”) are once again clogging up the XBLIG menu with more trash – except this has to be the worst ever. A male office worker jumps off the office block roof – you lose life by hitting furniture on your way down to the pavement and gain life if you hit other floating women “Chick Power” – Urgghhh. In the background are photos of ladies in bikinis (must be a charity MUFTI day in their workplace?) or guys smoking fags and generally not doing very much. It’s worst than awful. I shouldn’t even write about it and give them any mention at all but feel it’s my duty to save you 80MP. Say no to this bilge and let XBLIG be the breeding ground of genuinely innovative developers, not lazy sexist morons.
ZombieGeddon – 80MP
Regular readers of the GGUK XBL weekly update will know that I love a good zombie game and this top down shoot ‘em up looks pretty decent with 12 levels of action to get through. You play an elite solider with a choice of weapons to rid the world of zombies but with scarce ammo, strategically choosing the right weapon in each of the 4 environments and spotting the zombie’s weak spots is critical to survival. You can also team up with a friend for a more intense experience!